It has been just about 30 years ago that my wife and I decided to start a family. Our oldest daughter just turned 25. If you do the math, you can figure out that things did not start out as we had planned.
We struggled greatly with infertility. Eventually, we decided to become foster parents with the goal of adoption.
Through many trials and tribulations, that I don’t have the time or space to fully explain, we eventually adopted 2 amazing daughters, and then had 2 (surprise) bio babies. Things did not happen the way we planned, but we would do it all a million times again to have the family we have now.
Mother’s Day reminds me as much about loss as it does anything else. During the 3 full years we tried to start a family the “natural” way, Mother’s Day became something we did not enjoy.
For some reason, that I can’t fully explain, infertility causes feelings of loss. With every passing month, our inability to become pregnant just started to hurt more. Eventually, we just couldn’t go to church on Mother’s Day. It was just a painful reminder that my wife just couldn’t be a mom. My aunt Joyce lost her son when he was just 17 years old, so she didn’t go to church on Mother’s Day either. It just hurt too much.
Now I do hospice for a living. On Mother’s Day I just can’t fully clear my mind of loss. I’ve just cared for too many moms over the years. I am painfully aware of all the families who have lost their moms, and will spend today in mourning wishing for just one more day with their mom.
For those families, please know that I am thinking of you today. My profession puts me right in the middle of watching sons and daughters lose their moms to unrelenting disease.
Today is not an easy day for those who have lost their mom. Most of you will spend the day with your own family in celebration, but deep down inside you are thinking of your own mom, and how you have to get through today without her.
May today be filled with God’s grace and mercy as you feel joy and sorrow. Joy with the family you started, and sorrow for the family you have lost.
